A lil on the drunk side

Have you ever sat back and wondered if your doing the right thing in life? Is the life you live is really going to get you anywhere? If your really happy with yourself, your life, your friend, your family and even your lover? Do you ever wonder how things would be in your life if you didn't know all the people you've came across in your life? Have you ever wonder what your life would be like with a different set of family members? If you were born in a different state? If you were born white or black, and any other race for that matter? So you ever wonder if your mother is the mother you really were born to live for, if god pick the right mother and father for you?

I'm a lil on the drunk side right now. And I have so many thoughts going on in my mind. I can't seem to control them. I can't even get my thought together to even think.

I don't think I am happy with myself anymore. I know this because I can't seem to become happy with anyone right now or anything that's going on in my life right now. Nothing is going well for me and I can't seem to handle it. I don't know what to do anymore. I just fill like running away. But I can't, I've already left Ohio. Now I'm in another state and I'm still not happy.

I know I need to be happy with self before anything, but how am I going to do that if I'm not happy with the way things are going right now in my life.

I wonder so many things, that's why I've asked all those questions. Like anyone is going to answer them!!!!!!

I'm not happy and I'm lost in thought, for words. For love.

Help me...